i wear my heart……

 

 

I was inspired today, because my logic is getting so much better each day. I’m learning my way, although through the struggle. The universe kept sending me his lesson about my career. They kept setting it up so nice, to see if i would crumble. I did every time. I sat back this last time though and realized my strengths… i gotta use them even if i don’t wanna cause conflict, my talent will not be stomped on took for granted or mock, any longer. 

I had to realize that i cannot be responsible about how a person feels about themselves, so for me to take any type of ill minded minipulations from energy i cannot see. I have to fight back. I realized i’m a very analytical person and if i analyze a situation for too long it can be dangerous! I do realize that i cannot continue to act upon impulse to get my point across, because then people really don’t take me serious. They accuse me of being selfish, because i wear my heart on my sleeve.

I’m just passionate about me, my feelings and I gotta look out for those feelings, being that nobody else bothers…. no matter how much i set myself back for the next, no matter how much i care. No matter how much i enable a person to not care about me, i still gotta care. All i can be is me, and thats a multi talented individual just trying to find out where i fit in this big orchastra. This stage of the world.

Iesha

Iesha.Iesha http://www.realitywanted.com/member/id/277518#.Ucw88txPKhU.twitter

diamond butterfly!

i love this song, i need this in my life!!!

Diamond ME

please check out my girl on her new album eveolved coming soon…..

the thirst!

this is one of my new favorite artist! i love her swag, her drive, and the lyrics! i can so relate!!!

cherokee

i love her! #tribe!

NEWS: Uhh Ohh… Lil Mama Calls Out Nicki Minaj, Again! [KingpinTV.net]

was just writing this shit yesterday!!!

KINGPIN TV :: www.KingpinTV.net ::

Move over Lil Kim, there’s another female rapper not too fond of Nicki Minaj. Lil Mama is the latest to put the formerly minted Harajuku Barbie on blast for not supporting other women in her arena.

Lil Mama says the former American Idol judge is basically a fraud. “It’s a lot of underground women who are trying to break through, but on a mainstream level the one person that I really hear on the radio is Nicki Minaj,” she said. “A lot of times, I hear her say. ‘I do this for women,’ and ‘I’m doing this for all of us,’ while she’s accepting a BET award, but other than that I don’t see her embracing any other women. I feel it’s time for female MCs to really start sticking together and start putting out some music.”

The “Lipgloss” rapper continued, “One of the things that makes me most happy…

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today…..

Sitting here at my computer today, listening to some Aaliyah instrumental…. got me all emotional and shit. Then i remembered when i was 13 listening to Aaliyah mimicking here every move. Boy those were the days. When i was free to live, free to laugh, free to the bone, you feel me. Music has always been an inspiration in life to me. It gets my soul burning inside with good feeling. I hate the music is not on tune with my life these days….

I always you to listen to monie love, MC Lyte and Queen latifah and i knew all their rhymes and every song that i like i always made sure i learned all the songs, because as a fan i don’t truely think your a true fan unless you learn all the songs. These days, i have a few music choices… Nicki Manajs RAP! some of lil waynes stuff, J. Cole, Diamond, CherokeeTheLyricist, Marcy malone, a few local artist in my hood ect. I don’t do a whole lot of dumb music, a waste of tape. I was thinking i could come out with some dope music to empower people, because this world really needs it right now. You know, telling people to be happy with what they have but at the same time getting them crunk!

I hate the club music around my hood. A bunch of hood niggas, that aint got no money but always on the bars like they ballin….. these bitches too i mean rap about what you know, tell a story. We gotta get some sense back into the music! like, if you a hoe, rap about being a hoe because of all the bitches i know yall aint got no real money, cuz you ain’t got no class! Niggas, stop holler bout you trapping all damn day cuz when a bitch looking for some damn work, yall aint never got none and when you do got it, its wack as fuck! ha ha!!! i’m fantastic!

I’m just saying, i get tired of hearing the shit! we got porn stars being rappers, getting money every way! its crazy! The industry  tho….. CRAZY! but everybody trying they hardest to be famous and broke! i mean i feel the major exposure but i feel that if you are hard working and you network with people and do features with artist around the globe you can make it! you gotta show love though and that is what this world is lacking. Then females wonder why its so hard for women to make it! change the game! stop trying to be the best and work together! i’m just saying, you could start a team state by state challenge each other but show love too! make money have fun but respect each other. i’d respect that a lot!

If i ever get the chance to start a music career, i’d show ya!

the new me…..

So today is my birthday, and as i think of these 27 years of living, my purpose in life gets clearer. Thinking i needed to follow material pursuits…. that is not my mission this time around. The score at hand has to do with my spirituality. I’m finding new ways of living, thinking, and being. Letting go of old ideologies of life because this world obviously have changed. Figuring if i’ll mesh in or lead on my own…. That’s the question now. 

Like i’ve said in blogs before this one, it feels as if i have to play catch up, but that’s because my soul took me on a full tour of life. Taught me how to be assertive, stand up for my own convictions. I stopped caring about the thoughts of others. Stopped paying attention to what everyone was doing because i realized i was stunting my own growth. Dealing and learning situations for the future, my future. So, as only time may tell i may be leaving old situations, bringing in new. Making a clean slate for whatever happens because life has taught me to feel, live, love an conquer on my own time. I don’t need a entourage to make my life and purpose meaningful.

Today, and for many years after this, i will concentrate on what is going to make I’esha truly happy. I will try to consider others accommodations but for this year especially i need to accommodate myself. For so many years i have been doing what others wanted and not my own wants. dressing like this, talking like this, acting like this, until i really figured out people were trying to mold me into the person they wanted me to be. So many not comfortable with the unorthodox ways of I’esha and her mind. 

I think for myself to the fullest, if somebody directed my way before, it was because i was uncertain of my own way. That’s not the case now, because i’m discovering in so many ways how i an exist to be in this life. no more telling me what to do….