Free thought….. check it out y’all !
Well, its been a while since i shared my thoughts here. I’m just at a point in my life where it is easier for me to share my convictions without really giving a fuck what people think. I’ve been going through quite a bit internally for months and i know i gotta stop being vulgar all the time, and i know its some personal work i gotta do. My mind frame has totally changed from where it was a year ago and i’m very thankful. I feel like i now have total control of my life,and my soul. The dilemma between the responsibilities i created on this earth and my souls desire have been the problem of sheer demise for quite some time. I felt like i had to totally give in to both and i knew that was not possible. i had to find a balance between the two and very soon. I contemplated about 6 months after i had my epiphany and i think i have, no i’m sure i have came up with a solution. I had to re-evaluate my life, sit down and figure out what i did wrong, and what factors caused me to make some of the decisions i made. It comes down to one thing…… i must let go. Not for the sake of my heart, but for the sake of my souls desires. I’m committing fully to that path and everyday i get simple clues to what that path is. I can be in the store, and y’all know i’m a small framed young woman but people mistake me for a young girl so much, and it frustrated me for some time, but it dawned on me yesterday….. i was picking my children that i adore up from school (lol) and i don’t get to wear normal clothing, so i put on a simple white halter and some red pants. We were getting in the car, and a lady asked me what size i wore. now i wear a size 1 and i have two kids. i’m 26 years old, no stretch marks totally beautiful skin. she then asked me if the kids were mine and i replied yes. she was like ” Girl go ahead! you should be a model, don’t waste that body!” Dreams of my brand on a billboard in Hollywood flashed in that instant. I got this feeling of joy, it was rushing through my veins so fast. I decided yesterday, that i’m gonna invest in seeing where my beauty can lead me. Shunned by the one person that’s supposed to be on my team, they see the beauty but is afraid that the beauty will be the demise of the relationship….. i can’t be responsible for the insecurities of another man, but i can reassure this, if you stood by me instead of being against me, you;d be better off. Now, i was hiding the fact that i know i want some recognition. As selfless as i have 
been all my life, i think its safe to say that karma will bless me. so starting today, i’m gonna get in the field and play the part! not sure which path to take just yet but i’m planting seeds!
ieshanicole 